Why Romance Novels Hit Different When You’re Lonely

 By Trina Morgan, Fashion, Beauty, and Lifestyle Blogger

Image Credits Pixabay

I want to talk to ya'll about romance novels because I swear these books carried me through some of the loneliest years of my life. I was a young woman with a child, trying to figure out love and myself, and back then it felt like every guy my age was either confused, not ready, or just not serious. I wanted something real. I wanted romance, passion, and a man who actually cared about me. I used to lie awake at night thinking about what it would feel like to have somebody who loved me for me, and sometimes I cried because loneliness hits different when you are young and trying to be strong. My mother saw me going through it, introduced me to what she was reading at the time, and let me tell you, that changed everything!

Now, I wasn't the book type at first. A thick book always scared me because I felt like, why would I sit and read all that lol. But she told me the story she was reading was good, and she started telling me the details. Hearing your mother talk about romance books is embarrassing, but I listened. She asked me if I wanted to read it when she was done, and I said yeah. It was a Harlequin romance novel. When I read the first one, I was hooked. The mystery, the love, the drama, the way the story pulled me in- it all grabbed me. I started ordering my own books and picking out titles that made me blush just looking at them. I never read during the day. Nighttime was my reading time. I would put my child to bed, go to my room, turn on my dim lamp, get under the covers, and read for hours. I would take little breaks to get a snack or a drink lol!. I wish I remembered every title I read, but I do know I loved the ones with the long-haired guys, the motorcycle guys, the faraway land guys, all that fantasy stuff that made me feel alive again.

Those books made me feel hope. They made me feel like maybe I could find someone who wanted more than just a quick moment. They made me feel like I could be loved for real. And for a while that was enough. I would finish a book in about three days and pick up another one like it was nothing. They kept me entertained and kept me from sinking into loneliness. And then one day a real guy came into my life. He was sweet, giving, loyal, and he accepted my child. We planned to get married after two years together. He made me feel confident again. He made me feel seen. I would act out little scenes from the books on him, and he thought it was cute. His praise made me feel bold. We had fun, we laughed, we tried new things, and we had moments that made me feel like maybe I had finally found what I had been dreaming about.

Image Credit By Berzin Pixabay

But life happens. People change. He started lying about things, and after a while I had to let him go. I missed the good times, but I didn't need someone who was one way at first and another later. So I went back to books. This time I got into audiobooks. I listened to stories on cassette tapes, and the sound of a guy reading in my ear made everything feel close and warm. I remember the voice, the tone, the way he spoke, and I would laugh at myself because I knew I was hooked again lol!. If this is too much for you, then stop right here lol. I was addicted to romance stories because they filled a space in my life that real people were not filling at the time.

As time went on, I dated other guys and lived life, and the feeling I had for those books faded. I still think about how they helped me through tough moments. They gave me comfort. They gave me excitement. They gave me something to look forward to at night. I want to feel passion again, the excitement, the spontaneous scenarios. I want to command and bring my person to his knees, and maybe I could be a bit submissive. Nothing wrong with playing roles out of a romance book; that would be truly fun. If you are trying to figure out how to lean into those desires and explore what feels good to you, my friend Shelbee on the Edge has a great post on how to confidently express and explore your intimate fantasies that is definitely worth a read. And I want to know if any of you read romance novels for the same reason. 

Do you read them because you are lonely?. Do you read them because you want to feel something again?. Do you read them even when you are married or in a relationship?. I think romance novels hit really different depending on where you are in life. They can be an escape, a comfort, a fantasy, or just something fun to get lost in. And there is nothing wrong with that. 

Even though now I love my single life, I still have hope that my true and only love will find me and sweep this ole chick off her feet because Lord knows I still have a young mind and am full of romance to give. I'm a person with so much love to give to the right one! He must treat me with respect, loyalty, trust, and protection. He must be his true self with no hidden agendas, but a man who is caring and loving and goes out of his way to make a woman like me happy. He's out there somewhere, but he will have to find me because, honey, I'm a gem; I'm worthy, and I'm kind.

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